Well I am coming around the stretch will be three weeks since the chemo next week and then I just go for herceptin. I will be closely monitored to make sure my heart remains strong and okay during this treatment. I should be happy that the tumor markers are down, but this week I have been so afraid. Been thinking a lot about my dad, and then also you read about this cancer I have that you can be alive five years, ten years, fifteen years, you just do not know. Being constantly scared like that is no way to live I know. I will continue on and be happy, but there are times I feel abandoned by God. Why did he do this to me? And then there are days I feel so strong and happy nothing can knock me over.
I know taking one day at a time is all that I can do. I am a lucky girl to have a wonderful husband who is always there for me. He would take my pain away if he could I can see that in his eyes. I have a loving family and am surrounded by so many wonderful friends, shoot they are friends but also my family too.
Things could always be worse, I could be alone, and I am not. I am grateful for each day that comes my way and just pray things continue to come our way in our life together for my husband and me. I cannot give up, I have to keep going. I know I can make it through. I love you Roel......
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