Breast Cancer

Breast Cancer

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Thursday was my last chemo last week

I was scared when I went to the doctor, but just wanted to get it done and when he confirmed it I was so happy, tumor markers came from 450 to 87.  Last chemo just need herceptin.  It is still frustrating because I have to go through things.  I have lost a friend a long the way who could not handle my illness, and gained many more for support.  The support is so helpful, a note, a hug, it just keeps me going. 

The chemo is hitting me a little hard, tired, achey, but tomorrow it will be one week so hopefully it will slowly get better.  My mom comes over to help me, my legs are weak right now so hard for me to walk or function but she has been so helpful.  My husband as well.  His support means the world to me.

I have to be strong, their are days when I dont feel it, I feel like crying, feel scared, but you know what it is okay.  It is normal.  I will make it one day at a time.  In three months blood tests and an echo to see how I am doing.  I pray every day it will be okay.....

Thursday, May 5, 2011

4/28 chemo

Well chemo was last week, it was scary for me this time around, could not calm down, so afraid of the after affects.  Saturday the pains started, so I stuck with taking the pain medicine my doctor prescribed.  I hate taking pills, but the pain is so unbearable.  I have had a little rough week but slowly starting to get better. Been running fevers at night, aches and pains, stomach ache and nausea.  Believe me I have days where I want to give up.  Chemo is just not a nice thing, but I watch motivational stories of others who went through cancer and how they dealt with it.  Going to counciling now, and sometimes you learn that others are going through such a rougher time than you, and when you see them smile and their spirits up it keeps you going.

I hate asking for help but realized that I have to, the only way I will get through it is with help.  The help I get even from people who live miles away means so much to me.  A phone call, and letter, a note, means so much.

Today, well I am keeping my spirits each day I face what I have to get by. My energy is slowly starting to come back, and I slowly start to feel like myself.  I am scared though, still get scared, I had an echo tuesday have not heard yet, I guess no news is good news, but you still get scared.  I cannot even walk to get the mail anymore without feeling like I just walked a mile.  But like the saying is, I have cancer, but cancer does not have me.

I see smiles lately when I walk through the hospital half the time I do not even wear a scarf anymore, hey Im bald, so look at it people  lol.........now I know what sunburn on the head is, ouch not fun...lol...I do have to say I miss getting my hair done, that was always a pamper for me, but it will come back soon, and I will complain of bad hair days again. 

I miss my dad, but he is my angel who is taking care of me now.  I also have another angel Marcus a good friend their son passed away, I was not too much into prayer before this, but I do believe in angels and know they are there guiding me. Things could always be worse and whatever comes my way I have to continue to fight and move on.  With all the love I get I know I can do anything.

I slowly am getting my chemo rash but not as bad as before, hey could be worse right.  Things are slowly going to be okay I just wish I can stop being scared.