Surgery day

April 15, 2008, was my surgery day.  The alarm went off, did not get much sleep last night.  I took a shower and remember looking at my breast and saying bye.  Strangely but I had to.  It was either lose my breast or lose  my life and hey I am still young!

I got all checked in for surgery.  I had to go to radiology first to be injected with dye they had to see if the cancer spread to my lymph nodes.  I got to see my doctor and she made me laugh, I told her I was going to glow :).  Then I went to be checked in.  My husband I was more worried about because I did not want him to be alone waiting.  When we got there my brother in law Richard was there.  That meant so much to me!

I could go back there and not worry and just take a deep breath.  They took me back, I kissed and hugged everyone and said I will be okay dont worry.  I changed into my fancy gown and of course brought my stuffed animal my moose with me.  I needed something to hold to calm me down.  The nurses were great, making me laugh, they could see I was scared.  Then one of the nurses came up to me and said your surgery is being delayed but we will get you back soon.  I think my heart skipped beats..they could see how scared I was. 

The nurse started giving me meds to make me relax. We joked that is was cocktail hour for me.  The surgical nurse saw my blood pressure so high and I was cold and shakey.  She came and talked with me.  She told me that you will be taken care of. Dont worry.  Things will be okay. Think good thoughts of a speedy recovery and no infection.  She hugged me. 

As they started to wheel me back, I was drugged pretty good, but I started to cry.  I knew this was it and that the cancer is going away.  You think you would be happy, but since I never had surgery before I was so scared of what would happen. 

I got in the room and they placed me on the table.  The doctor started saying her notes and history of me to all the nurses and assistants in the room.  Then I heard the anethesia doc say okay we are going to put you to sleep.  I took a deep breath.  My doctor grabbed my hand and held it tight while I feel asleep.  I knew my fate was in their hands and that everything would be okay.